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Eline’s Diary #2: Healing in Ibiza for 2 months with different therapies, holistic treatments, somatic practice and less pain

It’s the 11th of November when I am writing this blog post. We’ve been back for a week now and I’ve had a hard time adjusting being back home after spending more than 2 months on Ibiza. There is so much (healing) that happened. It feels like me, including everything I thought I knew about myself, my life, my base, has been thrown into a machine, spun around on turbo speed and spit me out again. And now, my head still spinning and the ground under my feet shaking, I need to find my “new” place within my “old” surroundings. Wanna know what happened? Keep on reading!

First things first: Why did we even go to Ibiza in the first place?

A question many of you had asked. It actually started at the beginning of the year. I was thinking of an intention (you see how I’m not using the word “goal”) for 2023 and the 1 word that came up straight away was “healing”. And I didn’t mean necessarily the physical healing part. There is so much that happened over the past 5 years and I felt that this was the year I needed to start working on truly accepting, digesting and processing. As I turned 30 in January, I wanted to give myself a present.

For the people who follow me for a while: remember I went to Ibiza in May to follow a 2-day retreat? Well, that was my 30th birthday present to myself. Those 2 days spent with Nathalie opened up my eyes to everything else that is out there to still try. It also showed me that I was ready for it. After 5 years of being in the “regular healthcare” scene, it was time for a different approach to go about “healing”.

Also, something was missing….

During the past years, I have always felt there was a part within my therapies missing, even though I did so much. Physio, massage therapy, psychotherapy, 6 months in a rehabilitation center, hydrotherapy, you name it and I’ve tried it. But there was a piece missing…. Yet I couldn’t put my finger on what that piece was.

Until one of my friends told me: “Eline, you’ve always been ahead of us on a spiritual level and you completely lost that part of yourself over these last few years.” She was right. And then I found Nathalie and heard about the work she was doing. And everything clicked. I intrinsically felt I needed to go and see her. A different approach, a more holistic approach and at some levels a more spiritual approach. Our sessions in May felt extremely good. I knew that, whatever that missing piece was, I was working on it with her. 

The decision to go back was quickly made. Marcus loved the idea as well. It would be good to get out and change things up a bit and be in the sun. So we decided to go, for 10 weeks.

What healing sessions have I been doing whilst out there

Firstly, my sessions with Nathalie continued on a weekly basis. She has an immense gift of making you feel safe at all times. We have been doing a lot of inner work: going inwards, learning how to communicate with my body, learning how to trust again, learning how to love myself, my leg ánd the “not-so-nice-parts-of-myself” included, learning to dream again, learning how to set boundaries, learning how to let go (of old beliefs, patterns and also people).

We have focused on my body as a whole, instead of having my leg as the sole focus of therapy. I didn’t realise how much the rest of my body needed that attention. We have focused on the mobility in my leg. However, instead of pushing through the pain (which many of you will recognise), I listened to the pace my body wanted to go at. Even if that took a hell of a lot longer. It worked. Without the pain. In a healthy way where I could trust my body and she could trust me. All with her guidance, her energy and her gifts.

Secondly, you know how I fell in love with Pilates, so I couldn’t not do that there. Marit is helping me out here in Amsterdam at Bodyvita. And I found Pilar from The Loft to help me out in Ibiza. We are doing private sessions (both in Amsterdam as in Ibiza) and are focusing on the mobility, strength and flexibility of my whole body. I cannot describe the feeling of getting stronger and more flexible. And again: not just my leg, but my body as a whole.

Wanna read more about my journey? Click here to check it out!

But that wasn’t everything…

Nope, I have also seen Mirko, my osteopath, several times. This is the scariest part of the therapies, but I have a deep faith and trust in him. He knows his sh*t and he isn’t scared to touch my leg. He explained how my untreated scar and scar tissue is blocking the blood circulation, temperature regulation and energy circulation. So he would inject a fluid that dissolves the scar tissue under my skin. Yes, you read that correctly. Inject.

Yet again: intrinsically, somewhere very deep down inside of me, I heard a tiny voice saying: “I know you’re right, but I am terrified of you looking at my scar, let alone touching it, let alone injecting something in it, let alone me touching my leg myself”. And yes, the first time he touched it, I had a flare-up that lasted for days. But I decided to listen to that tiny voice and treat my leg with love, cancel plans for the days after and go for it.

I kept on seeing him and I realised a few things. Over these 2 months, the flare-ups became less long, my scar is looking better, my skin is able to move better and I feel blood and temperature circulation going. I used to get panic attacks just looking at my scar. I have now started to touch that scar ánd my leg. From a place of trust, from the heart and whilst sending my own leg love. 

Just a small disclaimer in case the above gets to vague

If you reach a point now where you say “this is too much for me, I don’t understand what you say when “from the heart and whilst sending love”: I hear you. It is okay, you don’t have to understand. I am just trying to put into words what it feels like to do this and what helps for me. Energy work has crossed my path and I feel that those are blockages that kept me from healing. And if you’re not into it: just read it as “I started to touch my own leg again”. 

Last but not least…

My final two: my sessions with the extremely gifted Nicole from Holistic Serenity. She has introduced me to new levels of spirituality in this beautiful sacred space that she creates. The combination of reiki, sound healing and crystal healing, together with her special gifts have taken me to a new level of consciousness, self-love and healing. I don’t feel comfortable sharing in too much detail about these sessions yet. However, if you can book something in with her (she also does sessions online, NO SPON), definitely grab your chance to do it.

Last but not least, I started biomagnetism: a therapy where they restore the pH levels in your body. It comes from the belief that, in a healthy and balanced pH environment, development of illness cannot happen. Biomagnetism helps restore that pH balance and increase your body’s ability of healing by using magnets on your body. I’ve only had one session so far. However, when going back I will continue this treatment, so I will keep you posted about it!

What have I done to promote my healing other than seeing therapists?

I strongly feel I took the time to go very, very deep. I faced (and still am facing) my darkest sides, my deepest fears and my very strong, conditioned beliefs. Even now, I am still in the process of figuring out which ones I keep and which ones I can let go of.

Normally I do this by writing; I keep several journals and meditate. I have learned to stop writing in “nice sentences” or a “good story”. Now I really write down what I’m feeling, without judgment or thoughts like “this is so weird”. This is helping me to get a clearer mind of what is going on, where it’s coming from and what I want and need to do to change things. 

You might wonder how this helps my leg. Well, I know that if I reduce (underlying) stress, the pain is less. It is that simple. And as long as I am not true to myself about who I am, who my true friends are, my loved ones, what it is that I want to do in life (hello building on the Spoonies Community) ánd care too much about other people’s expectations, I am keeping a lot of added stress in my body, aren’t I? 

Also by being away from the city, on a mountain, without much stimuli and really giving my nervous system time to calm down, by being in nature, breathing in the fresh air, being outside a lot, I am reducing those stress levels. 

Any last differences that I’ve noticed since I’m back

There’s one final part I haven’t touched upon yet. Which is how being confronted with your own restrictions and disability the whole entire day, increases my stress (and pain) levels already.

Spain is a very accessible place to be. I have felt so much freedom, just being able to get into my car and drive to the beach, knowing I’d be able to park somewhere close by or go into any restaurant or bar and be able to use the toilet.

The Netherlands has so much to catch up on to become even a fraction of what Spain has in place. And there are many people throwing in arguments like “yeah but Amsterdam has all those old buildings that you cannot touch” or “rooms in Amsterdam are just very small, it doesn’t fit”. I tell you now: those arguments can be thrown out of the window straight away. I refuse to take “no” for an answer: just look at how the Museum of the Canals did it. They have done an amazing job making the space accessible, without changing the look of the building. Or make the decision to have 1 toilet in your bar that is accessible instead of having 2 small ones. It is those little changes that are making a massive difference in general.

So how this makes me feel….

Being faced with the restrictions I have from the moment I wake up, makes me less able to, towards the end of the day, face “just another obstacle”. It also makes me go out of the house less because it takes such effort. Whereas in Spain, where I didn’t have that experience all day every day, facing an obstacle then makes it “just a challenge”. One that I can handle, because it allows me to think creatively and it only happens once in a while.

So a call to the Dutch government to FINALLY put accessibility on the cards. And not just as an afterthought. If you want people with disabilities to join the society, make sure the society is build so we are able to join.

So what is next on my healing journey?

Well, as I mentioned on Instagram already: I am going back to Ibiza. But this time, I’m going by myself. I want to challenge myself in combination with feeling I need time by myself. There’s been so much that has happened and I don’t have much space for others at the moment. Before I can help other people (whether that is my family & friends or the community), I need to have gone through this part myself. 

The plan is to be out there for 6-8 weeks (although I am keeping this a bit open) and my fiancé will stay here. Which -can I just clarify- has nothing to do with our relationship. If anything it might be the best thing ever for our relationship. We need to find a healthy balance again. One where I can be the independent woman who he got to know almost 7 years ago. And one where he doesn’t feel like having to care over me all the time. And for that, I need to learn what it is like to be by myself again. To learn how I get through flare-ups by myself and how to take care of myself when that is happening. 

I am changing, transforming and turning into a different person, truer to myself and the things that are good for me. I feel it and I am very excited about it. And I cannot wait to take you all along.

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